raya dan puasa

Hmm…dah 6 hari posa..takde pulak..abg2 aku call..ckp.. ‘selamat berpuasa mak..’susah aku nk ckp..mgkin pada diorg…mende tu tak penting..tapi aku penah dengar mak sebut…ada anak…mcm takde ada anak…hmmm…salah aku ke? Mgkin..sbb tak jaga mak aku dgn betul kot..tapi abg2 aku jugak play the part…kalo bab raya ni..lagi sensitip..entah lah…dah penat aku nak pikir panjang lagi..azam raya aku kali ni…raya adalah hari yg biasa jek..nothing special…

Tiap kali raya mesti ada cerita yg penuh keinsafan ttg…kasih syg anak mak..merindui..kepulangan anak yg sibuk bekerja…seorg bapa yg sibuk…sembelih ayam…utk cucu2nya pulang…tapi..rumah sepi…tunggu la si bapa dan si emak…tapi tetiba anak pulang…dan sumenya happy…hmmm..aku rasa scene tu hanya kat iklan atau cerita sempena hari raya jek…secara realitinya? Maybe just 30% jek…well…aku cerita ni..berdasarkan pengalaman aku sendiri..tapi bukan itu yg aku nak sharekan kat sini…aku nak ceritakan the my sad side story of raya,(if can deliver the story la..) ‘How the Hj Sulaiman’s family celebrate their raya..’

Mesti kita selalu gambarkan raya tu…hari yg bahagia…jumpa sanak saudara..anak dirantauan pulang…ke kg..or pulang ke bandar (as my brothers case la) raya ni la…satu2nya excuse yg paling kuat utk parents…jumpa anak2 diorg…sbb..its the only day that..sume org boleh amik cuti…secara beramai2…(tapi utk mereka yg boleh tinggalkan kerja just utk jenguk parents..aku salute la) why kene tunggu raya? Hmmm susah aku nak ckp..mgkin sbb aku tak duduk jauh ngan parents..aku sebumbung ngan parents aku (and this is one of my brothers excuse for them to let all the responsibility down to me)…kakak aku cuba utk wat family day tahun ni..raya ke-3..katanya…just let see is this going to be real? Hmmm…I’m not being so negative about this…tapi as Mawi said in his Silkymen Ad. ‘u hope my dear…u hope’..kakak aku ckp..mcmana aku nak jumpa korang…asal aku datang jek korang dah takde…hmmm…susah la aku nak ckp…kalo la…kul 7 pagi tu..dia dah tercatuk kat umah…for sure la..dpt jumpa semua…ye la..lepas sembhyang raya…another excuse from my brother…’tahun lepas dah raya sini…so tahun ni..raya kat umah sana lak (referring to his parents in law house laa..) aku pun dah lost count..tahun ni..raya umah sape…aku rasa..cam every year..i’ll be spending my night before raya…with mak n abah..jek…haa..ni lagi satu excuse…’umah sana takde org tolong masakkan lauk2 raya…kesian..HELLOO!! as if ur own mother can cook by herself…yess…she can..(my mother is a supermom) but she still need all the help she can get…

So…parents aku survive the night before raya..with a smile…since all their grandkids are here..but except for my second brother…fuuhh! He really got a story to tell…he will only arrive at my mom house..on the 3^rd raya…when everyone…gone to kulai n kluang…to visit my uncles there…so I often on my phone asking him his location…(while I’m driving..)ok…lepas salam2 sume..makan2..la..then my brothers will angkut what they can and bring to their mother in law…huuuhh…penat2 masak…amik camtu jek…hmmm…and the drama start when my sister..ask forgiveness from my mom..every year mcm tu…mgkin sbb byk dosa kot…heheehhe…then dgn muka bengkak2..salam2 laa…so dah..pas…duit raya…(haa.tahun ni..anak sedara aku dpt RM5 jek eah…sorry..bajet tak cukup) so..they when off to..where ever they want to..left me n my mom with all the mess…so..ptg tu..untill laa…raya berikutnya…aku akan tido…makan…tido…n..then my raya end..oh nearly forget…raya 4 baru la pegi..balik kg…

So the sad story is..my second brother…he got 5 kids..and none of them knew my mom is their nenek, don’t know why…is it because..my sister in law hates my mom or what? Duuh! that’s must be the reason…ntah la..mak aku dah penat nak kecik ati agaknya…we all get used to it..hope..i wont be like her..

Yess..mgkin korang yg baca ni..kata aku kejam..sebab write bad things bout my family…but this is just my point of view…what I felt…my family not that perfect…but I love my parents…and my brothers n sister..tapi tu la..sometimes..diorg tak nampak apa yg kurang kat sini..always harap aku yg tolong penuhi kekosongan parents aku…tapi aku ni manusia biasa…nak jugak keinginan sendiri..nak ada family…what if..i got married and have to move away? Kenapa abg2 aku takleh sacrifice..tapi aku perlu? Takkan aku nak tunggu abg aku pencen..then aku baru leh kawin…aku pernah terpikir mcm tu…hmmm….kalo la diorg tau apa yg aku rasa ni….

Untill next time…sorry la..kali blog aku…emosi sket…sbb aku sdg berantakan ni…so next time..aku cuba post something yg tak boring…